Steamed Hams, but it's a VIC 20 game

Steamed Hams is a tribute game for the unexpanded Commodore VIC 20.  It requires no additional controllers or memory to play.

I wanted to make a new game for a convention tomorrow, but I'm not sure I'll be able to attend.  I didn't have any ideas I could quickly make, but this is one of my favorite cartoon skits.  I hope you enjoy it.

* THIS IS A WORK-IN-PROGRESS *

Update 1:  I went to the convention and had a chance to watch a few people play this.  I am posting an updated version based on these observations.  It now has a bit smoother input, more words, and a few bug fixes.  Thanks for everyone's support!